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FLASH: Dateline Melbourne, Florida

In a bizarre turn of events an adult coral snake, micrurus fulvius, has been fatally bitten by a Cracker redneck masquerading as an ER nurse. Physicians at the scene were unable to save the unfortunate reptile as "We were all gagging and vomiting at the hideous spectacle."!

Hospital spokespersons whom refused to be identified were adamant that the event was in no way connected ER understaffing or 12 hour shifts without meal breaks. "It is a well-documented fact that Southern people will eat anything." stated one. "He most certainly will be disciplined!" chimed in another who added "Hospital regulations clearly state that all road kill must be consumed while off the clock. If we can prove the snake was injured in a motor vehicle accident prior to it's transport to the ER Mr. Welch will be looking for a new job."

Uploaded: 2/21/2004